Tuesday, June 25, 2019

The Last, Best Escape Room

I spent the day helping a friend move into a new apartment, so I'm pretty exhausted. I wouldn't say too exhausted to actually write something down, but I guess it's close enough that at this point it might as well be an off day. As with the other times this has happened, though, I don't want to leave you with just this paragraph of excuses, so here's a semi-story I haven't shared on this blog yet.

Escape rooms are still popular, right?

Welcome to Faux History Productions! If you are reading this, that means you have been selected over tens of applicants to join our prestigious ranks and be a timekeeper slash scoremaster for our series of top-of-the-line Escape Rooms. This pamphlet, in addition to the training you are about to receive, will demonstrate exactly what you are supposed to do as well as what to expect from the teams under your supervision. With all that said, let’s dive into the intricacies of our latest release, The Tomb of Agamemnon (Work in Progress).

The meta-story of ToAWiP (“toah-whip”, if you’re feeling particularly laconic) is that of an old abandoned escape-the-room warehouse which participants (or “crypt delvers”) find themselves exploring when suddenly the door locks behind them, leaving them trapped. One of the primary selling points we believe of this escape room is that there is no immediate danger. There are no zombies hiding in cupboards or deadly neurotoxins creeping in through overhead vents. In fact, this is your first major instruction:

Do not start the timer immediately

Yes, there is an obvious timer located on the stage, but we will get to that later on in this pamphlet. For now, we will say this: The timer does not begin until you say it begins, but it cannot start immediately.

In addition to the timer, here is what the participants should be able to access inside the room:

  • Five small black pebbles, each inside a drawer locked with a combination lock. In past runnings of this escape room, there have been placed in a single file cabinet, but be creative! (IMPORTANT: These are actually voidstones! Do not handle voidstones with bare skin)
  • The aforementioned timer should be placed on top of one of the drawers. If it is digital, it should be set to 00:05:00. If it is analog, it should be a simple fifty-five minute egg timer.
  • Sixteen assorted puzzles arranged around the main stage. These are generally provided by Faux History, but if you find yourself with a mechanical failure on set, the solutions are listed below. Be creative! You do not have to simply give out solutions to broken puzzles. Consider devising your own riddle instead.
    • 15
    • 17
    • 37
    • 42
    • 45
    • 60
    • 6
    • 9
    • 20
    • 21
    • 30
    • 44
    • 19
    • 11
    • 25
    • “In order, in order”
  • A single piece of chalk. This can be left anywhere as long as it is easily accessible by participants. Previous showrunners have placed it by a tablet in an effort to mislead, but be creative!
All these are placed in the meta-stage. In the meta-introduction area, these items are placed as well:

  • Twenty-five “results photos” from previous runs of the room-within-a-room of The Tomb of Agamemnon. You will notice that all of them are failures. This is intentional.
  • One sign-in sheet and accompanying pen. Everyone’s name is Jack.
  • One loose brick. Placing this will be obvious, as it goes in the only hole in the eastern wall. Do not inspect this brick any more than necessary.

Now that we have this out of the way, let’s go through an ideal play session. Your parts will be obvious and covered in more detail through actual training.

  1. The party of eight to twelve people comes into the staging area and are greeted by their supervisor. Importantly, they are greeted as though they are good friends.
  2. They are given the backstory of ToAWiP, which will be provided later in your training.
  3. The party goes into the staging area, followed by their supervisor (IMPORTANT: Do not lead the party. You must be the last one in and the last one out).
  4. The party will try to enter the meta-staging area and find the door is locked. The supervisor apologizes for not resetting the game properly and unlocks the door.
  5. The party goes through the meta-stage, solving all sixteen puzzles. At this point, the supervisor activates the timer.
  6. Through quick hands and clever wit, the party manages to get all five cabinet drawers open. They grab the pebbles inside.
  7. The supervisor resets the timer, this time to 00:55:00, and starts it. The pebbles begin to vibrate (IMPORTANT: It is vital that you do not speak from this point on). In addition, the supervisor locks the meta-stage door.
  8. Fortunately for the party, one of their members is an expert locksmith, and improvises a set of lockpicks from one of the puzzles. (This is the intended solution, though sufficient force can also open the door. In addition, a member of the Catholic clergy of rank Bishop or higher can exorcise three of the five pebbles to add another fifty-five minutes to the timer)
  9. If the party has not forced open the door, pause the timer.
  10. A younger member of the party finds the chalk underneath the sign-in sheet. The locksmith’s wife realizes what they must do.
  11. If there are any children or a member of the Catholic clergy (of any rank), the supervisor motions for them to step out (IMPORTANT: Continue to remain silent). The remaining members then draw a perfect circle with the chalk, but have no idea how to draw a proper pentagram.
  12. At this point, the voidstones have become impossible to handle without cloth. They simply burst into flames without these precautions.
  13. One member of the party discovers the loose brick. Etched on it is a description of how to geometrically create a pentagram using only a compass and straightedge.
  14. The party manages well enough.
  15. If the timer reaches zero, and any non-exorcised voidstones slowly begin to rise off the ground, sucking in any mass that comes into contact with them. If the timer was paused, they will still suck in air at a similar rate as a vacuum cleaner, but will not rise.
  16. No team has been recorded making it this far.
  17. The party places each voidstone to its corresponding point and the brick in the middle.
  18. The supervisor congratulates the party on their performance (again, nonverbally. Clapping is expected, but be creative!) and opens the door for them.
  19. The supervisor then deals with the demon in the middle of the staging area.

And that’s it! After that it a little bit of finagling with each of the puzzles to reset them, paying half of your lifespan to return the voidstones to their resting state, and putting everything back in its place, you are now ready to let another party attempt The Tomb of Agamemnon (Work in Progress). Now, contact your regional manager to schedule a training.


Once again, Welcome to Faux History!

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