The Walking Dance

Like many, I’ve started going on walks more frequently to stay active, and I’ve noticed that there’s this little interaction, this little dance that everyone does when two people are approaching each other on the sidewalk. Because you can’t just cross paths, obviously, that would mean getting too close. Instead, here’s what happens:

First thing’s first, you have to spot them. This generally happens when you’re still far away from each other but sometimes there’s some low-hanging foliage obscuring your sightlines so be ready for that. What follows are calculations between both you and the other person that wouldn’t be out of place in a middle-school math textbook. “I’m going at such and such a speed and they’re going at such and such a speed which means we’ll intersect…” That sort of problem.

If you’re really mean, you can turn it into a game of chicken. Who’s going to cross the street or get out of the way first? Not you! But what’s more likely to happen next is this sort of size up where you’ll check to see if the other person is wearing a mask, and if they aren’t, you get to give them a good solid glare that should last for about as long as you feel comfortable giving them the attention. That’s not that long for me, personally, but I’m sure for other people it’s different.

Once that’s out of the way, the next thing to look for is traffic. You should generally be aware of the oncoming sort anyway, but be sure to look behind you as well. Once you’ve gotten the hang of this in a general sense, you can even try to be as simultaneous as you can with the other person as well. See how close you can get!

Now, based on all these factors, you have to wordlessly decide who’s going to go out of their way. The default should be you, obviously. Yes, I know I mentioned chicken 180-ish words ago, but come on. Whoever it is, though, should obviously start drifting closer to the road in preparation to do so, also subtly indicating that they’ve elected to cross. One more check that the roads are clear, and that’s that.

Or is it? There’s a difference between a half-cross and going all the way across the street. I’ll leave that for you all to discover, though. In the meantime, stay safe, stay well, and I’ll talk to you all next week.

-F